I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
