It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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