i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
How's work?
Spinning.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
