fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
