I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
where are my eyebrows?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
