I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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