Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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