So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
