capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
