Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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