Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND

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  (954): When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed. (1-954): RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND http://tfl.nu/q689
  Replies (23) Good night (615) Bad night (3027)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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  (253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours

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  (414): I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours http://tfl.nu/ud9t
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  (512): View more from Texas

  what did gay clubs do before lady gaga

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  (512): what did gay clubs do before lady gaga http://tfl.nu/x7iq
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think

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  (317): Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think http://tfl.nu/kspc
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.

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  (616): Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this. http://tfl.nu/uew9
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  (818): View more from California

  That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.

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  (818): That's the last time I do shots near a campfire. http://tfl.nu/w9sa
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.

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  (920): She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable. http://tfl.nu/tpm2
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  (415): View more from California

  You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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  (415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up

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  (513): It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up http://tfl.nu/rfwb
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

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  (603): I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses." http://tfl.nu/iu6o
  Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (178)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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  (217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.

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  (704): If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again. http://tfl.nu/0rol
  Replies (7) Good night (484) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt

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