I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
