I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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