Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
