youre lurking in front of me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
