worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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