y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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