Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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