were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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