I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
