i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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