My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize