i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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