Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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