Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
