I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
