she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
