it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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