you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize