try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
