i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
