saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
