Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
