You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize