Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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