i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
