Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
