roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
