Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we're so committed to being not committed
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
