I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
