why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
be right there i have to get my cape
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.