why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."