I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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