Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
