Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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