He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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