I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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