She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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