the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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