I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
