I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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