the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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