I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
