There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just fell off a train. Bad.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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