I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
