that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
