my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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