Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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