Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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