Its about making memories worth repressing
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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