Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
