just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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