He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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