My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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