i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
