But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
