i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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