Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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