there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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