Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
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this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.